Opening the 2023 Gift
Let’s start with the standard “Happy New Year and Welcome to the year 2023!”.
The first week of the year has passed and I should be well into the implementation of my plans that were developed last November. Alas, I’m not. Didn’t even get any actual planning accomplished and can honestly say I’m suffering from the repercussions of a defocused direction. If you have read James Clear “Atomic Habits” then his quote - “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” - should be ringing in the ears. Loudly.
Enjoying a coffee while visiting Sapulpa downtown during December with close friends. ©Karen Hays (Purpleknickers Photography)
I’m refusing to start the next twelve months off with excuses, but 2022 was filled with challenges of health that resulted in a decrease of focus and mental awareness. During my last visit with my cancer specialist, the tumors are dead or almost dead meaning the radiation treatment did it’s work as expected. While, I’m not cancer free, it will seem this last bout of the monster has put me into a high risk category with full body scans every three months. This continued monitoring of the preexisting tumors and expected early detection of new cancer possibilities will be mostly for the rest of my life. The pain in shoulder will also be a new constant companion, as the cancer turned my bone into a version of “Swiss cheese”. Both of which will change or modify my habits to limit my ability for world domination. It’s safe to say that I’m on the downward slope of the life cycle curve.
Still, between this great news and somewhat disappointing life style projections, I am blessed. Awaking up to a new year’s day for a comforting Americano coffee, cuddling on the couch with my furry babies is the perfect way to start each morning. Each day starts with a few minutes of gratitude for the people in my life, the wonderful opportunities of my past and the unopened expectations of future projects. Sometimes this occurs at the edge of my bed, waiting for my unrested body to catch up to my awaken mind, but so many times, those moments of gratitude are enjoyed while waiting for my coffee to finish. As the DeLonghi espresso machine delivers the last pressurized push of water through the Eote roasted coffee, I normally wrap it up with first taste of my favorite beverage before dumping the used coffee grounds.
Over time, I’ve observed that life itself, with its failures, accomplishments, and joy can be very similar to making your 1st cup of morning coffee. Imagine yourself as the humble coffee bean that is roasted through a lifetime of experiences in preparation to deliver your best through the pressures of life, knowing that not every portafilter of effort will deliver an exceptional result. In coffee, as in life, failure isn’t fatal. It is merely the wisdom of experience combined with the summation of practice of the craft to discover the combinations don’t exist at their absolute best. I’m sure you could also find things in your life that would resemble metaphorically the struggles of life. I would love to heard those in the comments.
So to wrap up this first post of this uncertain year, filled with fabulous expectations, let me share five wisdoms that I discovered as truths in my life as of late. Of course we share some similarities in experience so you may not understand what I’m speaking about, however, some of you will be able to recognize the thin, but tangible thread of paradoxes inter-weaved with the mysteries of finding your place in the universe.
1 - Time is your most valuable resource but can quickly become your most feared enemy. It cannot be saved for another day, or purchased to get more of, in fact, no one really knows how much time we have. It is the most constant ever-changing variable in everyone’s existence. Therefore, you cannot manage it. You can only choose to prioritize the tasks you wish to use your time towards. And if you do not choose the important task yourself, the counter will continue to tick off the minutes. In other words, time will constantly be used whether to benefit in accomplishing your goals or not. You are the product of the things you have done… and the things you haven’t done.
2 - Vince Lombardi is quoted “The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Work is the key to success, and hard work can help you accomplish anything.” this quote is echoed by a very close friend of mine, who always amazes me not because of her highly successful business, but because of her internal desire to help others succeed in their expectations, no matter what those may be. So many people look for the secret of success. The mysterious formula on how the person they admire today, achieved what themselves hope to gain, always in a much shorter time period. Many will be left disappointed to find there is no secret sauce to success, and that this elusive goal is so different for everyone that one formula cannot be designed. There are some best practices that can be applied to a large majority in searching for one particular version of success, but the most important common denominator will always be the four letters of work - Willing, Open, Real, Knowledge. We will explore the WORK acronym int he future, but I think you get the point.
3 - Find your WHY. Most people focus on their attention on their idea of “success” as the ultimate goal in life’s journey. What is that for you? Is it money? Is it fame? Is it happiness? Is it a long life? Maybe a combination of everything! I believe it’s worth investigating your direction to find your why. Why do you want more money? Why do you want to be famous? Why do you want a long life? Why do you want admiration? Finding your the why in your version of success will help you focus efforts and better prioritize which tasks are valuable to your life’s direction. Once you figure that out, write them down and revisit them often as you prepare for truth #4.
4 - Be Flexible in Life, should be at the top of anyone’s list of self improvement. The only constant of the universe is change. My life, your life, everyone life is the same in this truth. Change will happen, either by choice or by chance. If you are not flexible, the stress will be guiding your direction quickly pushing you into unwanted or even negative attitudes. As I get closer to celebrating my 60th birthday this year, I’m far from the person I remember being in my 20’s, almost 40 years ago. In fact, with my recent health issues, I’m far from the same version of myself from 2020. I would like to think that I’m better, more mature, focused on my version of success and even closer to finding my Xanadu. But the fact is that I’m not better or worse, only different. My life’s direction has changed a bit, what I find most valuable has evolved and how I choose to focus my attention is altered. Again, not better, just changed. In fact, I’ve said before that no one person is better or worse that you, everyone is just different.
5 - Kindness is defined as “the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate”. Its harder and harder to find this “gift” in casual encounters and much less in the creative circles I navigate, particularly towards new photographers. It seems in this “me first” branded world, so many have unintentionally crossed over into self-centered, selfish acts under the guise of self-care and in the process killed the kindness previously extended to our peers. The idea that everyone holding a camera is competition and a threat to your financial or creative survival is ludicrous and will ultimately drive away membership in professional organizations further. The best way to uplift any group is by helping newly entering members quickly elevate their skills and understanding of the craft. Extending genuine kindness is the keystone of a good human.
Well, this post turned quickly into a short novel but I hope it helps start a conversation about your choices for the upcoming year. There is no reason that you can’t start making an effort to be the best version of yourself today. I would love to hear your choices for the new year in the comments below.
Riding on New Year’s Day 2023 in some unusual warm weather for Oklahoma. Parked across from the Red Barn on Rt 66, in Arcadia.
